Revelations
by Rovermedic
Summary: What were they thinking???
1. HarmMac

Standard disclaimer: I don't own them or much of anything else. Spoiler:Season 8 finale  
  
Revelations  
  
Harm's POV Paraguay  
  
Two questions kept running through my weary mind. Poignant yet separated by time and circumstance. At the time they were put to me I didn't have an answer or at least it had that appearance. But now with hind sight as my traveling companion I had more answers than I wanted. Now what would I do with that information?  
The first question was asked a year ago on the Guadalcanal. As I tried to put my heart on the line (in a very ineffective manner, I add) Mac asked what I would give up to have her. I knew the answer before my mouth started to form the words, but they tripped over my tongue on the way out and before I uttered them she had given up on me.  
The second question was put to me only yesterday by my commanding officer (formerly) and mentor. What will you do when you find her? My stupid answer was that I hadn't thought that far ahead but, the truth was that I had thought of little else. I just wasn't ready to admit it to the Admiral or anyone else at that time.  
Now both questions seem moot. Even though I have given everything up for her and want to have her in my life permanently as my wife, I have again acted out of synch with fate. The daggers tear at my heart as I watch her hold Clay's hand and kiss him. I hear them exchange tenderness that I had longed to give her, was ready to give her. Once again I watch another man doing what I should.what I wish I could. I must have a dominant stupid gene in my make-up somewhere.  
I watch Gunny drive away with Clay knowing I can't go through this again. I can't sit by as she takes another man into her heart and her bed. As soon as we get back, if we get back, I will move on. I will heal, but will I love?  
  
Mac's POV Paraguay  
  
My insides have turned to jelly. It is my worst nightmare come to life. They are going to torture me and I might talk. These guys make an art of torture and I don't kid myself for a minute into thinking I am up to their game. Still, I couldn't watch Clay endure it again. They would have killed him as I am certain they will me. I couldn't bare that. I am surprised at the new feeling I have found for Clay. He has shown me a tender side and I find myself reciprocating. Is it real or is it circumstance? If we found ourselves back in our old lives at the mall in D.C. next week would we feel the same? I can't be certain, but I know I will never live to find out.  
The man set to interrogate me wear a sadistic grin and I know he is going to enjoy this. I take a deep breath and try to recall my marine training, but there was never anything like this in the manual. I hear the electricity arc as I clamp down on my tongue. I AM A MARINE I tell myself. It is my mantra.  
I hear gunshots from outside in the compound. The interrogator stops and takes up a rifle. If only I could get to him, but I am shackled and defenseless. Shots ring out and the door bursts open. I look up to the interrogator's chest stitched with two rounds. I look up and catch my breath as we make eye contact and I remember something he once told me; I'll always know where you are. And I know that our souls are bound. Even as I know he would never allow our hearts to meld, I know our souls are bound.  
We find Clay and enlist Gunny to get him to a medic ASAP. He is weak now and I wonder if he will make it. Part of me knows he won't survive the trip. It's that part of me that wanted to continue to play the role of lover, to make promises and give him hope. I kiss him tenderly tell him to not to worry. As we part I look over my shoulder to see Harm. I see the hurt flash across his face before he is able to hide it. How do I deal with that now?  
  
TBC.if you like. 


	2. GunnyClay

Disclaimer: You know the drill. I don't own them yada yada yada  
  
Revelations 2  
  
Paraguay Gunny's POV  
  
I don't know what I expected as I stood waiting outside the consulate's office but it wasn't what I got. I had been there the good part of the day trying to find a way to make contact without being noticed when I saw him. As soon I saw Commander Rabb I knew he was all the back up I would need. Not that my first choice would be to go into combat with a naval aviator and lawyer, but I had seen him in action few times and I knew he was almost as good as a squad of marines. Especially when he was working to save the Colonel's six. I think he missed his calling, I think he probably bleeds marine green and doesn't know it.  
Once we had a plan and put it into action he gave me the scoop. I wonder what it's like to love someone so much that you would give it all up just to have them. He had it all, the gold wings, the fancy uniform, but the Colonel, with all due respect, is quite a woman. She's about the only one I would go into combat with.  
There was no holding the Commander back once we found Mr Webb and the Colonel. At least we had surprise on our side and were able to come away with no casualties. Except Mr Webb and I wonder now, as I race him toward the hospital, if he will survive. It doesn't look good. I hope the Colonel and the Commander are able to find the stinger missiles before it's too late. When this is over I hoe they are able to finally find each other. If they don't, since the Commander is no longer and officer, I amy just kick his six myself.  
  
Paraguay Clay's POV  
  
I really messed things up this time. At my age hormones aren't supposed to rule my head, but they did and I almost got Sarah and me killed. I promised her I would do everything I could to keep them away from her. It was a promise I couldn't keep. The look on her face as they led her away tore my heart out of my chest. I would have died right there if I could have.  
Thank God for Rabb. He's head strong, egotistical and obviously has a dominant stupid gene, but he loves her. I should have known he would move heaven and earth to reach her. I should have known I could never compete. They love each other, I think they always have. I can't count how many times they have put it on the line for each other on about every continent on the planet. How could I think I would eve be able to compete with him for her love? But how could I not love her?  
I look at Gunny, whose face is a mask of determination as he concentrates on the road. I realize now I won't make it. Even now I feel myself fading. I reach out to Gunny, "Tell her.." 


	3. AJHarriet

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em. Just like to play with 'em.  
  
Falls Church A.J. Chigwidden's POV  
  
Sometimes it is no fun being the Admiral. Once you get the gold braid it takes away you ability to deal on a human level. It's why I goaded Harm into his resignation or part of the reason. I knew he would do it. All I had to do was leave him no option. I left him no choice. We both knew he was going after Mac but I couldn't give him the official capacity or leverage. We both knew no one else was going to do it. I used him and now the guilt is eating me up. I just hope that if he finds her alive that he wakes up and realizes he can't live without her. He's too good of an officer sometimes. He would bend the rules to help a client or fellow officer, but he won't bend them to have the woman he loves. Maybe if, no, when they get back I can to put my contingency plan into action. I have been preparing for this for ages. Still the guilt, the weight of my command overwhelms me sometimes.  
I decide to walk through the bullpen. It is after hours and most everyone has left for the day. Only one light remains burning, I walk over to Bud's office and peek in the door. She has her face covered by her hands and I see her shoulders shake with silent sobs. With all the stealth my SEAL training gave me I walk over and put my hand on her shoulder. She looks up with surprise and before she can come to attention I motion for her to sit. "Lt. Sims, Harriet," I say. "It's going to be okay." Before I can check my actions I pull her into a hug. She's like a daughter to me and we share common pain.  
  
Falls Church LT Harriet Sims POV  
  
Petty Officer Coates was almost my undoing. I had convinced myself that this was one of this tight spots that the Colonel and Commander got themselves into from time to time and they would come away from it again with a new anecdote to share. I almost had myself fooled, but then Jen brought me back to reality. I don't know if it's the hormones or the fact that I have known loss firsthand, but I feel it closing in around me. I force myself to be strong for them, offering words of comfort to Jen and bravado to Bud, but I have nothing to offer myself.  
I went to the Admiral not really knowing what I would say when I got there. I knew he must also be worried. He had been with the Colonel and the Commander for so many years. They were almost like family to him. I offered a shoulder to lean on and a friendly ear. I don't know what I expected from him, but his dismissal left me with an empty, lonely feeling. 


	4. Revealed

Okay Folks, thanks for all the great reviews. It helps keep the juices flowing. Now I am going to do a very big no-no. I am going to switch from first person to third person. I'm sorry but I just can't tell a story in first person. One last thing.since I can't accept Mac and Webb together and I don't want to see Mac and Harm's relationship set back two more years because she jumped the gun AGAIN, I am taking a few liberties. I apologize in advance for those who don't approve  
  
Disclaimers: If I owned them they would be making babies! Nuff said.  
  
Revealed...  
  
Jungle in Paraguay  
  
The dust settled silently around the shattered bi-plane. The wings had broken away from the fuselage a hundred feet back and the fuselage was bent from the impact with the earth. The smell of gasoline was strong as it seeped into the ground from the ruptured tanks.  
Harmon Rabb cautiously moved each of his body parts until he was certain there was no serious damage. He hurt all over but at least he was alive. "Hey, Mac," he called toward the front of the plane as he dismounted the cockpit. When he got no reply his heart started beating faster "Mac! Speak to be!" He couldn't believe what he saw when he got to the front passenger seat. The propeller blade had sheared and landed inches from Mac's head. He reached over and checked for a pulse and found it. He quickly checked her over for injuries as he released her straps.  
"That is absolutely the last time I fly with you." The words came out as a croak.  
Harm looked down into Mac smiling face. "It's probably the last time I'll ever fly." He was relieved that she didn't seem to have any serious injuries. "Can you help me get you out of here? They'll be after us soon and I want to put some distance between us and this plane."  
Mac put her arms around Harm's neck as he gently lifted her from the wreckage. "They say any landing you walk away from.that person obviously didn't fly with you."  
He was relieved at her attempt at humor. "Very funny, marine. We got the missiles didn't we?" She lowered her to the ground. "Think you can walk now?"  
Mac stood up and began checking herself over for injuries. Satisfied she was in one piece she looked at her surroundings. "Which way?"  
  
After they had been walking hours (or 2 hours 58 minutes and 13 seconds according to Mac's internal clock) they turned and noticed smoke where they had left the wrecked bi-plane. Either it had been torched by their pursuers or it had finally caught fire. Either was it was like a beacon.  
"We're going to have to find someplace to settle for the night. This jungle is dangerous enough during the day." Harm said during one of their short breaks.  
"How about over there," Mac suggested. Harm looked where she was pointing a small shack could just barely be seen under a mass of vegetation. "I don't think anyone lives there and it seems well hidden."  
  
The small shack was indeed deserted by human life but a variety of wildlife had taken it over. Finally, Harm was able to clear away a small space over the rafters. The tore some boards away and put them up so they could sleep off the damp ground and away from any nocturnal creatures. It was almost dark when he finished and Mac had just come back in with an armload of reasonably dry wood.  
"It's starting to rain so it should wipe out our tracks." She said as she began to stack the wood. She tore off a piece of her shirt for kindling. "Got a match or am I going to have to do this the hard way?"  
Harm reached into his pocket and took out the lighter he had used to light the dynamite. Mac took it with a smile "Quite the boy scout." In a minute she had the fire smoldering. "Now take off your shoes and socks. We don't want to get jungle rot."  
  
After the socks and shoes were hung to dry and they drank some water from the broad leaves that surrounded the shack. Mac suggested they get some rest and start early.  
"You take that," he pointed to the makeshift rack. "I'll stand first watch."  
Mac shook her head. "Harm, it's pouring out there. No one is going to sneak up on us tonight. Now come on we both need our rest." She motioned him up beside her. Soon they were settled side by side with Harm's jacket draped over them. "We've slept in worse places." She joked. When harm didn't reply she turned to look at him. "Why are you here?"  
"We got shot down remember?" he wouldn't look at her.  
"No, why are you in Paraguay?"  
"You're my best friend and you were in trouble. You would have done the same for me."  
She sighed. "I never thanked you. You're timing couldn't have been better." She leaned over to kiss his cheek but he pulled away.  
"Actually I figured I have the worst timing in the world." He turned his back to her.  
Mac tried to sleep, but even though their bodies we touching she felt there was a crevasse between them. "Harm, you awake?" He didn't answer but he could tell he was by the way he tensed. "About Clay, it's not what you think." Before she could continue she felt his body shake. "Harm?"  
He turned enough so that she could see his face. "You know something? I don't want to know about you and Clay. I don't care, what you do is you business and I am sick of all this. It's time we got on with our lives."  
Mac was shocked. She had never seen him direct so much rage at her before. Before she knew it he was up and putting on his shoes. Before he headed out the door her turned to her one more time. "I'm tired of looking for answers; because every time I think I have the answer someone changes the question." He stalked out the door.  
Mac lay in silence the rest of the night with hot tears burning her cheeks.  
  
Okay you know the drill..RR 


	5. back on the Homefront

Thanks to all for all the great feedback and suggestions. I will try to be worthy. I have the next couple of chapters ready I just have to type them out so please hang with me. Happy Memorial Day all!  
  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine but that would be a nice gift (  
  
Falls Church Virginia  
  
"Tiner!" The Admiral's voice boomed through the office.  
Petty Officer Tiner scrambled into the boss's office with more than his usual case of fluster. "Sir?"  
Chigwedden looked up with a scowl, recent events had him more agitated than usual. "Tell Turner, Roberts and Sims that I want them in my office in five, no, make that three minutes. Tiner scurried away wishing he had chosen a safer designator like, perhaps, EOD.  
  
Exactly two and one half minutes later the three officers smartly presented themselves to their commanding officer. "Take a seat," he commanded. "I thought you all would want to be appraised of the situation with the Colonel and Rabb." As soon as Harm had submitted his resignation and request for terminal leave the entire office had become concerned. "There has been some word at last from the field office in Paraguay. Last night Rabb and Gunny Valindez infiltrated Saddiq's compound in an attempt to liberate Webb and Mac. They were successful. Evidently the terrorists causing him serious injury had tortured Webb extensively. They were about to start on Mac when Rabb and Gunny busted in and rescued them."  
"Is she all right, sir?" Harriet inquired.  
"She was not harmed by the terrorists. However, I understand that Webb's condition is quite serious. Gunny left immediately after the rescue to get Webb to a hospital."  
"What about Harm and Mac, sir?" Sturgis asked.  
A.J. sighed. "What I am about to tell you is highly sensitive and must not leave this room. Webb had uncovered a plot to smuggle Stinger Missiles out of the country to use against U.S. assets. Harm and Mac took off to locate them. Last anyone heard of them they had 'procured' a farmers biplane to look for them. It was found some miles away in classic Rabb fashion; crashed and burning and there was no sign of survivors. However since Siddiq's men are all over the area we couldn't get anyone in to look around.  
"So what now, sir. Are we sending a team in?" Bud Roberts spoke up.  
A.J. shook his head slowly. "That's the hard part. The word is that Webb was rogue."  
"What does that mean?" Harriet asked.  
A.J.'s shoulders slumped. "It means, Harriet, that Webb's mission was not sanctioned by the CIA. In accordance the State Department is taking a Deny Everything posture."  
"So they're on their on." Sturgis uttered what they were all thinking.  
There was a pregnant silence as they ruminated the situation. A.J. strode to the window and looked out at nothing in particular, Harriet wrung her hands and fought back the tears and Bud looked at his wife with concern. No one said anything until there was a knock on the door. "Enter!" A.J. bellowed.  
Tiner entered and stood at attention "Sir, there is a caller and I well.."  
A.J. Turned and glared "And you what? Forgot how to take a message?"  
"Uh, no, sir. It's the nature of the call, sir. Well, not so much the nature as the caller." Tiner fumbled.  
"Speak English, son."  
Tiner took a deep breath. "She says she's Commander Rabb's mother-in- law..uh, sir" 


	6. Going for Broke

Sorry for the short chapters. Two kids, two dogs and husband tend to keep me hopping! R/R pls  
  
Jungle in Paraguay  
  
It was two hours and sixteen minutes later when Harm returned to the shack. "Mac?" he called softly.  
"Yeah?"  
"We have to get moving." He tossed her shoes to her. "Saddiq's men are on the move." After he helped her down he pressed two foil packets into her hand. She gave him a questioning look. "Airline peanuts," he answered.  
  
The rain may have let up, but the surrounding foliage was heavy with moisture. Soon they were soaked again and chilled in the morning air. After noticing Mac was shivering Harm took off his jacket and wordlessly draped it around her shoulders. Mac tried to catch his eye with a smile, but he refused to look at her. She wasn't sure what hurt more; the silence or that he wouldn't look her in the eye. It disheartened her that things seem to be falling into the same old pattern for them, she was hurting him and he was withdrawing from her. This time something was different though, he had an air of resignation about him. She wanted to say something, anything, to bring back her best friend, but she knew it wouldn't be so simple anymore. This thing between them, whether it be love or something else, had taken on a life of it's own and there could be no going back to the way things used to be. Like it or not, they could never be just best friends again. The question now, was she ready to take a leap of faith?  
"Harm, we need to talk."  
To his credit he didn't even lose stride. "Now if I had a dollar for every time one of us has said that and didn't do it, I'd be a wealthy man."  
"We should have made time." She persisted  
"If I recall correctly, there has always been a third party involved." He barely tried to contain the acid in his tone.  
"Let's do it now."  
"Why?" he stopped and faced her. "You and I are something aren't we? I'm too afraid to commit and you're just too damn afraid NOT to commit. I guess it's a good thing we never connected, I might have come home to find you committed to the milkman."  
Before she knew it was happening her left hand connected with the right side of his face. "Damn you, Harmon Rabb! I love you and I think I always have. I can't remember what it's like to not be tortured by it. I tell you how I feel and you toss me aside. I find someone and try to have a life and suddenly you're Mr. Sensitive. I am so tired of waiting for you to come around. I want babies, and pretending to be pregnant has only made me realize how much. I can't wait around forever so if I can't have the man I love at maybe I should just settle for one that loves me." She was breathing heavily as she turned away from him. When he didn't say anything she turned to look at him again. He stood rubbing a red and swollen cheek, the look in his a mixture of confusion and regret.  
"What about Webb?" he asked.  
Mac sighed and looked down at her hand. "I think it was the moment. Neither of us thought we were going to survive this mission. I kept thinking of you and me and all the times we kept missing, thinking we never would get it right. Then they started torturing Clay, each interrogation was sores than the one before. He came in after about the third time and told me he would do anything to keep them from me and that he was in love with me. She stopped as the tears fell and put her cool hand against Harm's hot cheek. "Haven't you ever said or done something to make someone happy even for a moment?"  
Harm studied her intently for a moment. He smiled inwardly at the thought of the debacle with Katherine Gale. "Yeah, I guess so."  
Mac smiled back then leaned in and paused. Casting indecision aside she closed the distance between their lips. 


	7. Friends in High Places

Falls Church Virginia  
  
A.J. placed the telephone back in its cradle and rubbed his temples. He flinched as he heard the knock on his office door. "Enter," he called with out his usual vigor. Bud Roberts came in and stood at attention.  
"May I have a word with the Admiral, sir?"  
A.J. let out a long breath and sat back in his leather chair. "I was just about to call you, Mr. Roberts. I just had the most interesting conversation with a Mrs. Gale, of the CIA Gales, and she informed me that her daughter, Katherine, and Rabb were married last week. Needless to say that took me by surprise, but what toped the cake is when she informed me that a lieutenant from JAG, matching your description, performed the ceremony." A.J. stood and walked around the desk until he faced Bud. "Tell me Mr. Roberts, don't you have enough to do with out getting involved in Rabb's nefarious schemes?"  
Bud's hands were beginning to sweat. "I can explain, sir."  
"I'll just bet you can." A.J. said with a smile. Indicated that Bud sit then sank down in a leather seat opposite him. When he was comfortable he motioned for Bud to continue. This had to be good.  
  
Jungle in Paraguay  
  
More was said with the kiss than the words that preceded it. When Harm and Mac parted neither spoke for several seconds. "Do this mean you won't be pressing charges?" Mac asked.  
"Charges?" Harm asked confused.  
"Striking a fellow officer is punishable by courts martial last time I checked. Unless, you have something else in mind?"  
"Well, I don't think that.." Harm's words were interrupted by the sound of gunfire. He threw Mac to the ground and shielded her with his body. "I think they found us."  
Mac looked around them. There was little movement and there was a deadly silence. "I don't think they have us pinpointed, yet. That shot wasn't anywhere near us." She stopped and listened as she heard a man's voice yell in Farsi. "He's calling for his friends, Harm. We've got to get out of here fast."  
Harm looked around for an escape route. The only real advantage they had going for them was the thick under growth. He heard the sound of water running off to the east. "Stay down and follow me." He whispered then crawled off in the direction of the water.  
It took fifty-seven minutes to crawl a few hundred meters, but soon they were at the waters edge. Harm crawled in first and sank in the muddy water up to his chin. Mac started to follow, but stopped and looked nervously up and down the banks. "What is it?" Harm asked.  
"You know they have caimans down here, don't you?"  
"Caimans?" Harm repeated.  
"You know, reptiles with lots of teeth and bad attitudes."  
"Hmmmm. Well, you can take your chances in here or stay out there and wait for Saddiq." He said as her scanned the water around him cautiously.  
Mac heard another gunshot report behind her and promptly slid into the water. "Point taken."  
  
Asuncion, Paraguay American Consulate  
  
Gunnery Sergeant Victor Galindez stared at the pencil necked man who occupied the desk before him. Were it not for said desk he would have reached over and promptly removed the man's useless head from his shoulders. He was dog-tired after driving through Hell and several check points without his papers to get Webb to the hospital here in Asuncion. Webb now lay near death now, clinging only by a hairs-breadth. After leaving him in the doctor's hands he reported here trying to enlist help to go back out after the Colonel and Commander. "What do you mean that you have been ordered to stay out of this? Those are American citizens, American military officer's no less."  
"I'm sorry Sergeant. Webb was working freelance. This is a dangerous place and we don't have the resources to send into such a volatile environment. We'd end up taking more casualties than we saved. Washington issued these orders, I'm sorry." The bureaucrat sank back in his chair as far from Gunny as possible.  
"Fine then, call I make a call to the states?"  
"To where?"  
"The CIA."  
"Not possible. You'd never even get anyone to talk to you."  
"All right, then the Navy Judge Advocate General."  
The bureaucrat seemed dubious for a moment then gave in. He picked up the telephone then dialed an international number. "Do you have the DSN?" Gunny gave it to him. The man finished dialing and handed the telephone to Gunny and left the office.  
  
Navy Judge Advocate General Falls Church Virginia  
  
A.J. searched his desk again for aspirin. Even when Rabb wasn't here he could stir up a hornets nest and A.J. was convinced that one day he would have an ulcer thanks to him. The intercom buzzed. "Yes, Tiner?"  
"Gunny Valindez is on the line for you, Sir."  
A.J. grabbed the phone quickly.  
"Hello, Gunny."  
"Hello, sir." The reply came back tinny, the reception was not very good.  
"What's the situation down there, son?"  
"Not good, sir. Mr Webb is in real bad shape and may not make it through the night." There was a pause. "Sir, I am trying to get some people assembled to go back out after the Colonel and Commander, but I'm meeting a brick wall down here. No one wants to help."  
"I understand it's a serious situation and one I can go into over the phone. I've been trying to rally some folks here. I've been ordered to stay out of there or I would be there already. However Mac and Harm have made some friends and I am trying to get something together."  
"That's good, sir. I'm heading back out as soon as I can gather some supplies and hire a few guns. Sir, Mr Webb asked me to get in touch with some one for him he thought could help. I can't get through though, these guys wont let me call Langley."  
"What's the name, Gunny? I'll see what I can do."  
"Thank you, sir." There was a pause while Gunny dug in his pocket for the card with the name. He gave it to the Admiral.  
"Got it. Listen, get some rest and wait for me to get back in touch with you. I know you're worried, son, but I don't want you charging into that jungle until I can round up reinforcements."  
"Aye, sir." The line went dead.  
  
A.J. sat back in his chair breathed deep. He had never dreamed that things would go wrong so fast when Webb had asked for Mac's help, but then Webb hadn't been exactly honest with them either. He promised himself that if his people came back from this alive he never again lend them to the CIA. "Tiner!"  
PO1 Tiner stuck his head in the door. "Get me Langley on the phone. I want to speak to Katherine Gale."  
  
Jungle in Paraguay  
  
"What's the plan?" Mac asked as she flicked a piece of Mud off Harm's chin. They had waded down steam for a couple of miles fighting the current and fearing that they would either be eaten by a caiman or found and shot by Saddiq's men. A third and more terrifying scenarios had came to Mac's mind; that they would be shot and wounded by Saddiq's men then found by a caiman. She didn't share that with Harm.  
Harm constantly scanned the riverbank since she had mentioned the wildlife. Only now that they were up on a sheltered bank did he relax. "Well, we need to get to Asuncion. I don't think anyplace else will be safe; Saddiq probably has people everywhere looking for us."  
Mac accepted his plan. It wasn't altogether that straight forward with lots of room for disaster, but they had been through so much and she was convinced they would make it out again. She always felt safe with Harm; well at least on the ground. "SO you never told me how you convinced the Admiral to let you come down here. I would have thought that everything he would have wanted to keep you close to JAG."  
"I didn't." Harm took her hand in his. He had been doing it more and more finding the warmth of her skin on his a comfort.  
It took a moment for Mac to digest the words. If he didn't convince the Admiral to let him come to after her the he was either UA or he had resigned. She didn't think he would go UA it just didn't fit his code of honor, which left the other option. She looked at him "You resigned? Harm what about your future, your retirement?"  
Harm reached over and moved a strand of hair out of her eyes. "It wasn't much of a choice. I didn't see much of a future without you in it." Mac wiped a tear from her eye. "Wow, flyboy, just when I think I have you figured out. Harm smiled. "Always keep them guessing." He scooted closer to her and put his arms around her. "I love you, Marine." He said as he leaned over to kiss her. - 


	8. Old Shoes

Standard disclaimers and all.I don't own they. I just take them out to play and put them back as I found them.  
  
Thanks for all the great reviews. You're keeping me going.  
  
Roberts Residence  
  
Harriet couldn't sleep. It was the same as last night and the night before and for so many nights in recent memory. It all began after the Commander's arrest for the murder of Loren Singer. She worried then as she did now for her two best friends as well as her husband. Mac was always inclusive in Harriet's fears for Harm because she knew that the bond they shared was special and whatever affected one would affect the other.  
She rolled out of bed gently so not to wake Bud. He hadn't been sleeping well either. He seemed to take everything that had been happening to Harm lately too hard. She knew so much of it was guilt because of his inability to do any thing for the commander; after all, the commander had stayed by his side when he had almost died. And Mac, as well, it was impossible to think of one without the other.  
She made her way to the kitchen and steeped a cup of tea. Chamomile tea always helped her relax. After grabbing a couple of cookies she went into the den and relaxed on the sofa, it was the quietest room in the house and the happiest. Rows of family pictures lined the mantle of the fireplace. Her eyes fixed on one in particular; a photo of Harm and Mac with little A.J. on the day of his christening. They were so happy. He had placed his arm around Mac and held little A.J.'s hand. She could never understand why they never got together. Sure there were the regulations, but Mac was on the bench now and she was certain it wouldn't take much to make her position permanent. They obviously had feelings for each other. Even Bud had seen that. With a sigh she went to the bookcase and removed an album. When she had settled again and was comfortable she opened it to the first page; a picture of the JAG softball team. What a day that had been, Harm and Mac bantered in their usual Navy-Marine Corps way, but underneath, if you looked, you could see the bond. When they posed for the picture he stood with his arm around her shoulder, peeking at her out of the corner of his eye. She had her head slightly inclined and was looking over at him. They were always sharing looks like that. They had it bad. She knew this because on few occasions Harm's proximity to her had reduced him to, for want of a better word, Budisms. Like the time the Admiral had put him in charge of JAG and he fell out of the chair and hit his head. He just got goofy sometimes. Harriet had to smile. "Now that's something I haven't seen enough of lately."  
  
Harriet turned to see Bud leaning against the doorframe. "Hi sweetie, I hope I didn't wake you."  
  
Bud hobbled over and sat next to her. "I really don't sleep much anymore." His hair was disheveled from sleep and there was a thin sheen of sweat on his forehead. The nightmares were back.  
  
She thumbed the pages of the book. "I can't help thinking about them. I know they've been in dangerous missions situations before, but something feels different."  
  
Bud took her hand in his. "Well, Harm's never resigned before. He was really worried about Mac. I think something has changed with them."  
  
They sat in silence for several minutes looking at the photos. Finally, Bud turned to her. "Can I ask you something without you getting angry? " "Of course sweetie."  
  
"You've always had a thing for Harm haven't you?"  
  
"Bud.."  
  
He held up a hand to silence her. "Don't misunderstand. I know you love me and would never, well, you know. It's just that all women seem drawn to him, he just has this.I don't know, charm?" Bud shrugged. " I guess if I could pick a person to be it would be him. Uh, with you, I mean."  
  
Harriet was thoughtful for a minute. "Harm is kind of like the fancy shoes you see in a store window. The ones with the high, high heels and pointed toes. They look great in the window. You think you want them, but they aren't practical, they're very uncomfortable and they just won't make you happy."  
  
Bud puzzled over it for a second or two. "Harm makes you uncomfortable?"  
  
Harriet couldn't help but laugh. "No Bud, I mean the happiness would be short lived and you find they really aren't what you wanted, not like the comfortable ones you already love."  
  
He smiled in understanding. "You're not comparing me to an old shoe are you?"  
  
"Honey, you're shoe nirvana." Harriet replied as she kissed him.  
  
They snuggled a few minutes before their attention fell on the album again. "It's not going to be the same without Harm around anymore."  
  
Sensing his mood change she took his face in her hands. "They're coming back, Bud."  
  
He looked at her skeptically, "Yeah, but even if they do, Harm resigned."  
  
Harriet smiled cryptically, "I wouldn't be so sure about that. Right before I sealed the personnel packet that was going to BUPERS the Admiral came in and took out the letter of resignation and paperwork. I don't think I was supposed to see."  
  
"Really?" Bud thought about it for a bit. "That old sea dog!"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Don't you see? The Admiral had to get Harm to retire. He couldn't send him to Paraguay on active status; the man is a walking international incident. This way if there was trouble all he had to do is wave the letter of resignation around and say he didn't know."  
  
"He must have decided to not turn it in then."  
  
Bud smiled for the first time in days. "Not yet, anyway. He knows something. He has a plan!"  
  
TBC. IDEAS? 


	9. R&R

First of all, I apologize for how the last chapter came out. I hate it when the dialog gets all jumbled up and you get a headache just trying to read it. I have reposted so hopefully that issue is resolved. Thanks again for the reviews, I am working much harder at proofing my work. All of your comments are appreciated.  
  
Disclaimer: same as previous chapters  
  
Heads up: I have had some emails asking about acronyms and abbreviations used.  
BUPERS- Bureau of Personnel  
EOD- Explosive Ordinance Disposal  
SERE- Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape. A school all military combat air crews are required to attend.  
  
Jungle in Paraguay  
  
The midday heat was as unrelenting as the morning chill had been. They had traveled slowly trying to avoid detection. Food was scarce and water that had fallen on the surrounding foliage had long since evaporated in the heat. For now they depended on Harm's SERE training, but lack of sufficient food and water was wearing on their stamina and the breaks were becoming more frequent.  
The solitude had allowed each of them time to think and consider their feelings. Though they had not spoken about it much the personal contact between them was at an all time high. Harm constantly held her hand and when they reached difficult terrain he would place his hand in the small of her back to guide her. They were each absorbed in their new closeness. Despite this, Mac found herself apprehensive about how it would continue once they were out of the jungle. As much as she knew her feelings for Clay had been the result of time and place compounded by danger, she knew what she felt for Harm was real and would persist. Harm was an enigma to her though she knew him about as well as any person could.  
Harm stopped and squeezed her hand. She stopped and listened as he did. It was faint, so faint she wasn't even certain that she heard it. "Where?" she whispered.  
Harm looked around then cocked his head. "There," he pointed. "But quietly. They may be watching." He let go of her hand and crept along on all fours until he came to the crest of a hill. She followed him and settled on her belly beside him. They watched for several minutes in silence. "I don't see anything. Do you?" he whispered.  
She scanned the area again. A small spring seemed to be trickling down a rock into a pool. The area was thick with vegetation and there was no sign of anyone around. "No." she replied.  
"Okay, I'll go down first and you wait a minute and follow me. Keep alert." He leaned over and kissed her then started down.  
After a while he was at the edge of the pool. There had been no sigh of movement so he waved he down. The water was clear and cool. They drank their fill. Harm tore a piece off of his shirt and dipped it in the pool then he began to wipe her face with it. "I knew you were in there somewhere."  
"What I wouldn't give for a bath." She sighed. "I don't think I have ever gone this long without bathing.  
"So why don't you?" he asked. "It's not exactly the Ritz but I'm sure it would be refreshing.  
Mac was tempted; the water would certainly energize her. "Turn your back."  
Harm smiled.  
"I mean it. I'm delighted about the new turn in our relationship but I don't want your first impression to be of me covered with grime."  
Harm grinned and turned his back. "It wouldn't."  
"Excuse me?"  
"I've seen you a hundred times.in my dreams." Before she could answer he walked a few feet into the foliage. "Hey, Mac. I'll be right back. Don't worry I won't be far."  
Mac wasted little time washing the grime and sweat from her body. Regretting she didn't have something clean to wear she slipped back into her clothes and shook her damp hair. She was getting concerned when Harm returned with arms laden. He had something or several something's wrapped in his jacket. "Where have you been?" she asked.  
"Just shopping." He replied, dropping her a famous flyboy smile. "Feel better?"  
"Much," she moved over so he could lean back against outcrop by her. "Shopping, huh?"  
Harm untied his bundle and opened it. "Hungry?"  
Mac's jaw dropped. He had somehow found bananas and some other fruit that was large and ovoid. "What's that?" She pointed to the unfamiliar fruit.  
Harm held one up. It was heavy and he held it with both hands. "This is a Bacury. Gunny pointed them out to me. They are kind of like an orange and the Para guans make drinks from them." He began to peel it. The pulp was white and it was segmented like an orange. He handed her a segment.  
"Mmm. I like it, but then I would probably like a stale sock right now. Couldn't find a Beltway Burger stand, huh?"  
Harm shook his head and smiled. "No, jarhead, at least for the present you'll have to eat healthy." He took a bit of the Bacury.  
Neither of them spoke until they had eaten their fill and washed at the pool. After wrapping the remaining fruit back in the jacket he leaned back contented. "I think we should settle for the rest of the night and get an early start in the morning. I found a little cave further up the slope."  
Mac nodded. "Sounds good. We're both exhausted."  
  
The cave Harm had found was really more of a niche in the rock sheltered by growth. It was just big enough for the two of them and completely camouflaged. After checking it thoroughly for reptiles they climbed in for some sleep. Harm lay on his side spooning Mac.  
Mac found the closeness a comfort. They had slept beside each other many other times, but there was a new intimacy in their touching. It wasn't like touching a brother any more. It was all she wanted. "Harm?" she called softly.  
"Hmmm?" he nuzzled her neck.  
"What took us so long?" she asked.  
Harm ceased his ministrations and sighed. "Don't you mean what took me so long?" He pulled he over so he could see her. "I've had a lot of time to think about this. After you left my apartment that night, it's about all I did. I was so determined not to lose you that I almost let you go."  
"Why? I was starting to think I was the only one with feelings."  
"Oh I've had feelings from about the moment we met, but there was always something overshadowing it."  
"Diane?"  
"In a way, yes. I didn't want you to think it was because of Diane at first. Then there was what the Admiral said when we met 'Don't get too close'."  
"But we did, in a different way." She smiled.  
"Yeah, you became the best friend I have ever had. You know my likes, my dislikes, my fears; you've even seen me cry. You went to Russia with me when no one else believed. There's no one else in my life like you, you know me even better than my mom. After we resolved all our family issues I started realizing how much you meant to me, but I was too scared to mess it up. Then every time you got involved with a new guy I started thinking you didn't feel the same. I guess we aren't good communicators."  
Mac sighed, "I guess I did my share of pushing. I thought getting involved would push you into admitting how you felt, but it just kept pushing you away instead." She reached up and touched his cheek. "So what changed this time?"  
Harm looked at the hand he had placed on he stomach. "I think it was seeing you in the pregnant suit. I liked it and it was then that I knew what I wanted. I was willing to give up anything for you then." Before he could say anything more she kissed him. When they pulled away they were breathless wanting more. "Not yet," he whispered. He took her chin in his hand. "And I mean not yet. I want to give you everything, Sarah."  
She understood, for the first time she really understood everything. "I love you," she whispered in his ear as she settled back against him. She never saw the smile that remained plastered to his face the rest of the night.  
  
TBC........... R/R 


	10. Here she comes to save the day

Disclaimers: standard I'm sorry the Pace of the story isn't moving along too well, but I should have one more chapter after this to wrap things up. BTW.I wanted to but just couldn't bring myself to kill off Clay.sorry.  
  
Mac came awake suddenly, her senses on full alert. She held her breath listened for what may have woken her. Nothing made a sound. Not even the usual of the nocturnal creatures in the jungle. Perhaps it meant nothing, but she learned to trust her instincts long ago. Harm tightened his grip on her waist to let her know he was alert as well.  
Four minutes and thirty-nine seconds later there was no indication of an intruder. She shifted to her side to get a better view out and around them. Nothing. Was it possible that she and Harm's imagination was working in tandem? She doubted it.  
Harm inched up into a sitting position beside her. "I'm going to look around." He whispered.  
"No!" She reached to pull him back, but it was too late. Lights blinded her and she was aware of the distinct sound of a round being chambered into an automatic weapon.  
She was surprised by her inner calm. The terror that had gripped her during her captivity with Clay was replaced by the peace of knowing she would die beside the man she loved, the only man she had ever loved so completely. Her only regret, other than knowing she would be responsible for his death, was that she would never know his love in completion. A distant memory haunted her 'anyone who's ever been involved with Mac is either dead or feels like they are.' The Mackenzie Curse lives.  
Casting aside regret she made an intrepid decision; if she were going to die she would do it like a Marine and go down fighting. She took a deep breath, and then casting a yearning glance at Harm she launched herself at the nearest gunman. The sound of gunfire tore through the night.  
  
Harm sensed what she was going to do and instant before she acted. Without though he called her name and grabbed her pulling her to the ground. He shielded her body with his own.  
The sound of gunfire was deafening as it assaulted the air around him. Then just as abruptly as it began it was over and the night was still again. The acrid smell of gun smoke was heavy around him as he realized he had come through it all unscathed. He rolled off Mac and found she was the same, but the surrounding area was littered with dead bodies. They stood up slowly amazed at the sight. They were equally amazed at the assemblage of dark clad figures that dissociated from the landscape. A figure, smaller than the rest but identically clad, approached them. Harm assumed a protective stance in front of Mac. At a distance of about two meters the mask came off and Harm stared, stunned at the sight of the blonde dynamo before him.  
Catherine Gayle smiled, "Hi Honey. Don't you have a kiss for your wife?"  
  
Harm stood tongue-tied. His moment of indecision cost him as Mac's fist impacted with his jaw. "You Son-of-a.." she started as someone grabbed her from behind.  
"I told you this was a bad idea, Ms Gayle." Gunny stood behind Mac holding her arms.  
Harm stood rubbing his chin. "Mac it isn't what you think." He looked over at Catherine who was agape. "Catherine, tell her!"  
"Harm, you didn't tell her?"  
"Let me go, Gunny" Mac commanded. Victor looked from Mac to Harm then figured since Harm wasn't in the service anymore he would have to take his chances.  
As Mac took a step toward Harm he took two steps back. "Now Mac, listen for a minute. It was a fake marriage, her mother was dying. Bud performed the ceremony."  
Mac stopped and looked over at Catherine. "Really? I'm sorry about your mother, Catherine."  
"Thanks, Colonel. Mom's fine. After the ceremony she recovered quite nicely." She turned to Harm again. "She'll be expecting Grandkids soon."  
Mac started laughing and soon she was laughing so hard that Harm became concerned. "What's so funny?" he asked.  
"You.." She said trying to recover. "Mr. Afraid-to-Commit got staged a marriage to a CIA operative."  
Harm feigned offense. "Hey, I was trying to find you."  
"And you decided the best way to do it was to get married?"  
Catherine jumped to Harm's defense. "He really was trying to find you Colonel. While he was trying to get information from me, my mother fell ill and he drove me to the hospital. My mothers dying wish was for me to get married, so I told her I was engaged. When Harm showed up with me she assumed..and insisted we get married that evening. She made a miraculous recover that night."  
Harm was shaking his head. "Well, it looks like you came all this way for a divorce then." He walked over to Mac and put him arm around her. He was relieved when she didn't break it. "I'm not ungrateful but how did you get here? I didn't think you were much into fieldwork, especially rescues."  
"Well, Clay had Gunny Galindez contact me ad after checking around at the company I discovered they were going to write you off so, I rounded up some help and here I am. I guess I owed you. Especially after Mom called Admiral Chegwidden." She smiled.  
"How is Clay?" Mac asked.  
Gunny spoke up, "He's a tough man, Colonel. I almost lost him on the way to the hospital. They'll probably be airlifting him home soon."  
Harm and Mac shared a look. "That's good. He always said he had amazing recuperative powers."  
Catherine checked her watch. She handed Mac a pack "A change of clothes and an MRE, Colonel. We will head out in 10 minutes."  
After Mac had walked off to find a place to change a soldier walked ups to Catherine. "Did we get him?" She asked him. He shook his head.  
Harm, who had been devouring his MRE, looked up. "Saddiq?" Catherine nodded. "I figure he is well on his way out of the country by now."  
"That's what scares me." She said as she walked off to check the troops  
  
Mercy Hospital Asuncion  
  
Clayton Webb wanted to crawl under a rock and forget everything. He dragged Sarah Mackenzie into a stupid ill planned mission and almost got her killed. The fact that he had been a breath away from the reaper didn't bother him so much but he loved Sarah and had even convinced himself that she could love him back. That line of thinking almost ruined everything. Had it not been for Rabb and his cowboy tactics they would be dead and the stingers would be on their way to American targets. What was it with Rabb? He had incredible luck and enviable talents, but most of all he had Sarah. No matter what he did he would always have Sarah. The only thing he didn't have was the sense to do something about it.  
Clay sighed. It had been quite an illusion. He had himself convinced that he, super spook, could save the world and win Sarah's heart. What a miserable failure.  
He looked over the note he still held:  
  
Dearest Sarah,  
I hope by now you are safe and sound. You are an incredible and brave  
lady and I am sorry I ever got you involved with this mission. I  
will be forever in your debt. I know we said some things to each other  
that I can only blame on the heat of the moment. I know your heart  
truly belongs to Rabb. It always has. I hope this time he comes around  
and gives you all the happiness you deserve. If he doesn't, you know  
where I am. Be happy.  
Yours,  
Clay  
  
It was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He had actually envisioned himself retiring from the company and settling down with her. He quickly placed the note in an envelope and addressed it to her at JAG.  
As he picked up his bag and started out the door he pulled out his cell phone and dialed a number from memory. "Anya? It's Clay. Look, I'm going to be in Washington this week end and I was wondering..." 


	11. Home Sweet Home

Sorry this has gone so slow. I will try to get this wrapped soon. Thanks for your reviews and patience. Real life is slowing me down.  
  
Andrews Air Force Base 4 Days later 1426 Eastern  
  
Mac was quiet, more so that usual. The past few days since their departure from Paraguay had been hectic and tense. They had been airlifted from Asuncion to Gitmo where Navy doctors had checked them over, drawn several vials of blood and given them prescriptions for antimicrobials incase they had picked up any bugs in their adventure. After two days of observation they were released to return home with new ID cards, but little more than the donated clothes on their back.  
The C-130 they had hitched back on was noisy and not built for comfort but they found little reason to complain. The aircrew had shared box lunches with them, but both had found they lacked an appetite. Unable to talk because of the engine noise they had held hands.  
"There's something to be said for not having to wait in lint for you luggage," Commented Harm as they disembarked.  
"There's also something to be said about being able to catch a cab back to your apartment." Mac replied  
"Good point," Harm admitted. "Let's go over to the flight office and see if they have any suggestions."  
They were looking around for a sign when heard their names called. They turned to see PO Tiner waving and approaching. "Colonel, Commander, I'm glad I found you."  
Mac smiled, surprised at how happy she was to see the admirals aide. "What are you doing here, Jason?"  
"The admiral sent me, ma'am" he would have come himself but he was called over to the pentagon. His orders were to see you made it home safe and see to anything you need." He handed her a bouquet he had been carrying. "It's from the office, ma'am." He turned and shook Harm's hand. "We've been real worried about you, sir."  
"Thanks, Tiner. We were just trying to figure how to make it home." Harm said  
"Right this way, Sir, Ma'am."  
  
Mackenzie's Apartment Exterior  
  
Tiner pulled to the curb in front of Macs apartment and got out to open the door for the two passengers. Since Mac didn't have apartment key with her Tiner had brought her spare set from her desk at JAG. "Thanks, Tiner."  
"Not a problem, ma'am." He replied. "Oh, ma'am! Before I forget, The Admiral asked me to give this letter to you. It arrived at JAG yesterday and there was no return address"  
Mac took the letter and immediately recognized the script on the front. "Thanks again, Tiner." She said as she pocketed the note.  
"Sir, I can take you to your apartment now if you would like."  
Harm was about to take him up on his offer when Mac spoke up. "It's okay, I'll take him, Jason. You've done enough for us, thanks."  
"No trouble, ma'am. We're just glad to have you home."  
"It's good to be home." She said as they walked in.  
  
"Whew!" she said as they entered the apartment. "It's good to be home." She dropped her keys and kicked off her shoes. "Want some tea?"  
"That would be nice," Harm replied as he moved to the sofa." Seconds later his eyes were closing. "You know, you probably should have let Tiner take me home. I know you're exhausted."  
A loud crashing sound came from the kitchen. Harm jumped up and ran toward the source of the noise. "Mac?" He found her standing over a broken cup trembling. "Mac, what's wrong?" He knew the answer already. The stress of the past few days had taken such a toll on her emotions he was surprised she had held on as long as she had. As he took her into his arms her legs went out from under her and they both sank to the floor. "It's okay, Sarah. It's over now." He whispered as she began to sob. After a few minutes her tears subsided, but she didn't make a move to get up. "You're going to need to talk to someone to help you get through this."  
She smiled and wiped at her cheeks. "That's why I have you, right?"  
Harm stood up and pulled her with him. "I may not be enough. Think about it, okay?"  
She nodded and sighed. She wrapped her arms around his chest and rested her head on his chest. The comfort of his closeness abated some of the terror that had crept up on her moments ago. "I guess I'll get us that tea." She said as she reluctantly moved back.  
Harm started picking up the pieces of the broken mug. He was worried about her. Unless she got help the memories of what she had endured while she was with Webb could haunt her for the rest of her life. Webb, he wanted to strangle that man with his bare hands. Whatever debt he owed him for Sergei's freedom couldn't compare with what it almost cost him. He was surprised that Mac hadn't seemed to harbor any ill feelings toward him. He remembered the note that Gunny had given her. He desperately wanted to know what it said, but he couldn't just come out and ask. "I wonder how Clay is?" he asked simply. He was trolling, but it was driving him mad.  
Without turning Mac took the note from her back pocket and handed it back to him. She had been anticipating this, knowing his curiosity, and perhaps a little jealously was getting to him. The phone started to ring. "I'll get it."  
"If it's Webb tell him to take a leap." He called after her. Grabbing the mugs of steaming tea he followed.  
"Yes sir, we're fine. Thanks for sending Tiner."  
He deduced it was the Admiral on the phone as he put the mug on the coffee table and stat down. At least it wasn't Super-spook.  
"Yes sir, I understand." A pause. "I'll tell him, sir." Then, "See you in the morning." After she hung up she took a seat next to him a little closer that usual.  
"I take it that was the Admiral." He said as her draped his arm around her shoulders a little more intimately than usual.  
"He wants to me to debrief in the morning." She said as she turned toward him eliminating the space between their bodies. "He wants to see you, too."  
Harm could feel her warm breath on his neck and it was making cognitive thought very difficult. "Hey, I'm not in the Navy anymore. I was just a tourist."  
"You are on terminal leave, so technically you're still under his command." She reached up and stroked his cheek.  
"So that only leaves us, what, ten hours to prepare?" he leaned in, his lips mere inches from hers.  
"Beats me." She closed the distance and their lips met.  
He smiled inwardly. He had finally found the one thing that could knock her internal clock off kilter.  
  
TBC.soon .I hope 


	12. Into the Fire

I guess this is it. I hope you don't find the ending too anticlimactic. Thanks to all the wonderful readers.  
  
JAG Headquarters Falls Church Virginia  
  
A.J. Chiggwedden leaned back in his plush leather chair. The chair was one of the perks he enjoyed as an Admiral. Another was employing his command influence. It allowed his to collect favors from those who became useful to him. He had called in quite a few of those in the past couple of days. It wasn't altogether unpleasant either.  
He rose from his desk at the knock on his door. "Enter."  
Tiner stuck his head in the door. "Colonel Mackenzie and Commander Rabb are here to see you, Sir."  
"Send them in and bring in some coffee, please."  
"Aye, sir" Tiner disappeared. Mac and Harm entered the office. Mac came to attention and reported. Harm stayed at ease, hut stiffened some after a stern look from Mac. A.J. pretended not to notice.  
"At ease," he said as he came around the desk to shake Mac's hand. "Sit down, please." Tiner entered with the coffee and left after the Admiral indicated he would pour. "How are you Mac?" He noticed she had dropped a bit of weigh and she lacked her usual air of confidence.  
"Fine, sir. It was a close one, but the mission succeeded thanks to the intervention of Commander Rabb"  
A.J. leaned back against his desk and regarded the two officers for a moment "So I hear. Yes, your mission was a success, but I want to know how you are. You went through quite an ordeal I understand."  
"I'm fine, sir." The words came out too quickly and she ignored the incredulous glare from Harm.  
"All right, Colonel." He folded his arms and looked from Mac to Harm and back. "Coffee?"  
"No, sir. I'm fine." Mac was starting to feel like a bug under glass.  
A.J. stood up and poured himself a cup. After considering it he put it back on the tray. "Fine then. I'm glad you're home and ...well." He scrutinized her again. "Colonel, you have a debriefing at 09:30 in conference room three."  
Mac took her cue and stood to leave. "Aye Aye, Sir."  
Harm was a step behind her when the Admiral called out to him. "Harm, do you have a minute? I'd like I word."  
"Of course, Admiral." He smiled at Mac as she exited giving him a curious look. He sat back in his chair.  
A.J. returned to his roost at the edge of his desk. "You've done everything but call me A.J."  
Harm smiled thinly. "I meant no disrespect."  
"The Hell you didn't!" A.J. retorted. He took a deep breath and shook his head. "And I don't blame you. I threw you to the wolves, Harm."  
"You did what you had to do, sir."  
A.J. chuckled and softened a little. "I remember saying something similar to you before you left." He rubbed his temple. "Did you?"  
"I did. If I hadn't gone very likely Colonel Mackenzie would be dead right now. I couldn't live with that."  
A.J. got up and went back behind his desk. "What about the other question I asked you that day?"  
Harm was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. "I feel I'm exploring my options."  
A.J.'s look soured. It was obvious that he didn't like Harm's lack of commitment. "What about her?" He waved the question away before Harm could answer. "Never mind, it's none of my business." He picked up a paper off his desk. "I've been so busy around here since I was left short-handed that I haven't had a chance to clear my desk. What would you like to do about this?" He handed Harm and neatly typed sheet of paper; his resignation.  
Harm looked at it solemnly. The Admiral was trying to give him a chance to return to the fold. "Sir, if your asking me to chose between JAG and Mac there's no question. It took me too long to get where I am." He handed the paper back.  
A.J. took it and examined it closely. "I don't believe there is a reason to make you choose. I can make Mac's position on the bench permanent. Then you wouldn't be in the same chain of command. Of course it would require some creative scheduling so you don't appear in the same courtroom. It can be done." A.J. looked at Harm pointedly across the desk. "There are a variety of other options as well, but this would be the most convenient for all concerned."  
Harm looked at the Admiral with awe. "It sounds like you gave this a lot of thought, sir. It's more than I should expect especially with the circumstances of my departure."  
"Hell, son, they don't make you an Admiral for just looking good behind a desk. And we both no I pushed you into making the decision to retire. I'm not proud of it."  
A smile broke across Harm's face. "Thank you, Admiral. I'd like time to discuss this with Mac before I make a final decision."  
"Not a problem. Call me tomorrow." A.J. got up and came around his desk. "Regardless what happens, I'm glad you and Mac are safe. I'm glad you mad the right decision to go get her. She worth a good fight."  
"That she is, sir." He shook the Admirals hand and left.  
  
Harmon Rabb's Apartment  
  
Harm consulted his mental checklist one last time. Everything seemed to be in order; all he needed was a certain Marine to get here before he lost his nerve. He looked over the pasta again; it was simmering in the sauce. He watched it closely in case it got to soft, he didn't need the issue of a bad meal on his mind tonight. As he made his way around the apartment he checked all the pertinent details; CD player-check, flowers- check, candles-check. He took a deep breath and rolled his neck trying to ease the tension creeping in. A hundred little voices had invaded his mind telling him it wasn't to late to forget everything. After all if it isn't broke.. He sighed. That was the problem, it was broke and he knew just what he needed to do to fix it. How many men could say that their very best friend was the woman of their dreams. Not many, he suspected. He was almost startled out of his skin by a knock on the door. He opened the door with a smile. "Hey, Marine." "Hey," she met his lips half way. "Something smells good. Couldn't possibly be Harm's meatless meatloaf." "Very funny, marine. Be nice and I might give you the recipe." He turned for the kitchen. "Just what the world needs, a new bio weapon." She looked around. "Nice, did I interrupt a date or something?" He hit the button on the remote and Natalie Imbruglia's voice came through the speakers. "Just one with the prettiest jarhead in the marine corps." He gave her a devastating smile and opened his arms to her. Without thinking really she stepped into his arms and met his embrace. She had come to yearn for the warmth of his touch. In just a few days she knew she was addicted to him like a powerful drug, never again would she be able to return to the blissful ignorance of being merely his friend. She pulled away and met his eyes. There was a spark of contentment she had never seen before. Before she could comment he led her to the table. "I'd better feed my marine." With a long look he returned to the kitchen. Mac decided it was time to change tact, at least during dinner. "How did your meeting with the Admiral go?" He returned carrying plates of salad. "Surprising." He returned to the kitchen. Mac frowned at the answer. "Surprising? What encompasses surprising? Is he going to shave his head and join a cult?" Harm set dinner before her. "Not exactly." He replied as he took a seat across from her. "He asked me if I wanted to reconsider my resignation." Mac looked up from her food. "I see. Well, I guess it would be like it never happened." She pushed her food away, her appetite had left her. Harm knew this was his moment of truth, his one shot to get it right. If he clammed up now he may as well join a monastery. "No, not like before." He pushed his own plate aside. "I told the Admiral I wanted to talk to you first." The disappointment was so obvious on her face. "I also told him that if I had to decide between you and JAG there was no decision." He got up and went around the table where he kneeled in front of her. "Mac, I love the Navy and I want to be a Navy lawyer, but I want you more. It took me seven years to get my head together and go after you, I want to keep you and make up for those seven years." "So the alternative is for me to resign." She said slowly. "Harm I love the Corps but if that is what it would take for us to be together I would do it." Harm knew at that moment that the depth of feeling he had for this woman he could never have for another. He also knew he couldn't live without her anymore. "He offered another alternative. You could go to the bench permanently and I would stay at JAG. That's one of the things I wanted to discuss with you." Mac thought about it for a minute. "I think it would make us the happiest. Actually I have kind of enjoyed being on the bench, it's a learning experience." Suddenly relief washed over her. It was as if up to this very point she had been standing in a vacuum. "I can't believe we are actually talking about our future, an 'us' future." Harm pulled her to her feet and held her tightly. "It was too long coming." "Harm? You said that was 'one' of the things you wanted to talk to me about. What other bombshells do you have to drop on me?" Harm knew dinner was a lost cause. He led her to the living room and sat beside her on the sofa. His hands trembled and he reached back behind the cushions and removed a ring box. "Sarah, don't you think a seven year courtship is long enough?"  
  
Roberts residence.  
  
Harriet couldn't sleep. She had given up on it long ago and had crept down to the family room. A million details were running amok in her head. Caterers, florists, seamstresses.. She wrote on a binder notebook furiously lest the tinniest detail escape her attention. "Harriet! Come to bed, Honey." Bud stood looking at her from the doorway. "Come on, sweetie. The Commander and Colonel aren't getting married for another three months and you already have the cake ordered, flowers picked out and a new dress. You're going to wear yourself out." Harriet sat bolt upright. "Oh no! Shoes, I need new shoes!" Bud decided it was worth going down that road again. He hobbled off to a cold and lonely bed.  
  
Th-th-th-that's all folks! Thanks for the great reviews! You can email me at alphanx@netscape.net if you have and comments or questions that need addressing 


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